March 2009
4 posts
Hey, I moved!
quarterrack.blogspot.com
How's the Job Search Going, Rex?
Hey, did you know that we’re in a recession?
The big employment vacuum cleaner sucked up all the jobs, and then revealed himself to be an otherworldly being, only to then blast off with every industry ever, never to return. This means we will all have to eat our pets.
But it’s not just the little people.
As much as I joke about how Rex’s future employment prospects most...
National Fail-ball Leagues
Why Are These Upstart Leagues So Fail-y?
Besides the classic “Infantile understanding of the operating costs of an upstart company that has to start out at a comparable size to Coca-Cola”, there is a big miscalculation that every league, every time, seems to make.
This is strange, as the reason is obvious to me, and I am merely a lady bystander. And these dudes are not bystanders; they have...
Football Leagues That Bit The Dust: WFL
This is the NFL: In 2005, it made 5.7 billion dollars in a market for which it has no major competition. So they’re pretty much playing a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos, except that the marbles are diamonds, and they broke the other three hippos. “Gee Whiz!” You must be thinking, if you are a man of moderate fortune and worse impulse control. “If I could come up with my own NFL, could I be eating...
January 2009
4 posts
NFL Players Who Probably Made a Deal With the...
(Many NFL players join the league, retire, and live happily ever after. Many more join the league, retire, and then slowly slide into depression, divorce, and debt. But some guys join the league, retire, and then apparently have a blood debt to pay in exchange for their career. And when Satan comes to collect for services rendered, he is a jerk. This is the first in an ongoing series of Epic NFL...
Some Players From My Wildcard Week Fantasy Team...
Colts Defense:
OK. Obviously this was my bad.
This defense is ranked something like 867th in the league. There are Gulf Coast protective systems more capable of working together to stop a passing game running game a game.
See? They’re at least plugging one hole.
The Colts D have no business being on anyone’s fantasy team unless the trade-off is for something real, like drugs. And especially...
Potential New Careers for Rex Grossman:
Jack-o-Lantern.
Potential New Careers for Rex Grossman: Wikimedia...
Poor Rex. It must be heartbreaking to be so bad at your job that you’re second string to an injured Dave Grohl.
One of the more unintentionally hilarious parts of this year’s Bears season was the sideline check-in shots of Rex: the only guy on the bench wearing his helmet, doing Pilates for some reason. In the 1st quarter, there would be a hopeful glance at Lovie whenever Kyle took a hard fall....
